Hopes And Dreams

Hopes and Dreams..
they last forever..
but rarely they come true..
or maybe never..

I search for those dreams in you..
expect you to make them come True..

I know, not everything is possible..
To none, the future is visible..

Theres a long way to go..
a lot to await..
i dont wanna miss a thing..
but it might get late..

My fears i confess..
my feelings they express..

I Hold on tight..
and through i go..
The only way..
the way you Show..


There's a 'Once' to love..
and a 'Once' to lose..

IT might be destiny..
But its Ours To Choose...

Lights Camera Action!

"A little to d left".." now bend a lil more".."ur not gettin it rit".." wherz dat look i askd for?"................Finally.." ya tats rit" .."once more".. " beautiful".. tats d camera for u and the man behind it...

a Dream career for some..may be for me 2..but this aint the way i expected it to be.. i mean for gods sake! im a human being too! not just a battery powered doll who you can put in front of a camera and press the remote.. "Smile" .." oh no not tat smile! the sexy one! now the sweet one!"

u cant even smile the way u want to..who r we fooling!

u put on tonnes o makeup on me ..dress me up in your flashy clothes..and wen your works done put on tat fake smile o yours and start wid.."sweetheart u were great!" "o my god look at those shots".." we want u for all our shoots"... and? and nothing..
not even a thankyou! after standing on my feet for 15-20 hours straight! while u were sippin ur coke... having your pizza..instructing me to do it right ...u dont even hav the audacity to say thanx..u worked very hard to make us look gud!

" o ill avoid tat cheese if i were u".." are u seriously eating tat peice o chocolate?" those are the anorexic models for you..well excuse me but its my business..if i want 2 eat a double cheese i will have it...but jus when im puttin it in my mouth! Tat first amazing mouth full......" o My GOd! its dripping of cheese..Ull bloat" well if i cant eat it why dont u jus shove it up urz!

behind all the appallingly expensive clothes they make me wear i am still me..behind all that make up wich no doubtedly makes me look gorgeous enough tat i dont even recognize myself...i am still me..i am still tat girl who dosent wear MAC and MAybelline everyday..who isnt always d best dressed girl! who'd like to be known as herself..

i dont know how to be THEM.. and i wont like to be THEM..i dont want to be a phony..i will not tell someone tat i am hittin a wild page 3 party when im jus goin to the local cafe day to chill wid some friends...

its a SHAM.. and people who actually enjoy this show are hypocrites.. and when u come to this profession.. stary eyed.. ur just assumed to be a part of this hypocrisy...y cant u be percieved the way u are..what is all the controversy about! do i have to look like i am stepping out o a salon each and everyday!

i wanna look pretty mommy! i wanna look like you! i wanna dress like you! wear your perfume! and your lipstik! look gracefull! i want to be able to see that respect in their eyes for me jus like everyone has when you walk in .. not the look which makes me feel dirty and makes me want to run and hide ..not the look tat tells me ........." ill give you anything ..all the money ..i dont care if you work for 20 hours staright ..i dont care if u had dreams..i dont care if u want to follow the right fucking path.........just jump into my car and ill make you the queen of the world baby"

and then i get back to reallity.." ur not posing right!" " ya tats d face " "hold it!" CLICK!

FROM: Those Who Matter... TO: Bullshit!

there are some people in your life who have always been there with you and always been there for you. these people have walked through the goods and bads, the ups and down of ur life..they have felt your sorrow, they have livd your life with you..and while wondering about the people who matter in your life you come across the names of these people.

they are your parents, your family, your friends...then y is it that one day there is someone who you come across,spend some time with, share sweet nothings with..starts mattering more??

in your priorities and thoughts everything and everyone else takes a backseat..somehow when you think of your moments o joy n luv n happiness your first thoughts are of that new someone..

'special' is not just a word..its a whole new feeling..

you do tend to feel a bit guilty bout neglecting ppl who've always been there and made you into the person you are for that new someone.. but how du u explain this..

it must be natural feeling all those feelings..thats d only way to explain something like this..how can u imagine feeling something so wonderfull on one hand and on the other hand ignoring the d dearest ppl .....

i guess its gettin too much now! i mean m i a fukin romantic or m i a fukin romantic!..sowwy fr such an abrupt ending..but thats jus the way i am..i write less and hide more in the 'Dots' after each and every sentence if u notice!!

Perplexed..

I wonder what to say to you now..we'v gone so far..away frm each other..and come so far in our relationship. sometimes i feel i dont need to say anything coz i think u know it already but ur silence confuses me..maybe u know me better than i do...but u forget i no you too..and sometimes your silence says all you want me to know...and thats when i realize that theres no one i know better than you and no one who knows me better...than you...

all this while iv tried growing apart and going away...but its not as easy as it used to be for me...going away from a relationship..

now its just flashes of moments spent with u which haunt me and ask me what i feel fo you..

keeping my feet on yours while dancing..holding your hand lying down besides me..hugging you tight when i was scared..

the way you made me feel..better than i had ever known..

simple things you du did!Meant the world...

It was like growing up... all over again..

learnt so much..learnt that its not only about loving..but a lot more..

the words of the song somehow made me find my hero in you..

but ya this was not a fairytale..and i think somewhere along the way i forgot this...

we went wong so many times ..and we used to think we are so unlike each other...but now after trying to be with someone else..iv realized we had so much in common..but we never took the time to see all that coz we were just too busy pointing out the differences..

its not always rainbows and butterflies..its compromise..

ive made my age an excuse to see the brighter side of the picture. but guess its not bout how grown up u are ..ofcourse it matters ..but what matters more is facing your feelings..not finding excuses to run away from them..

its confusing ..takes away my capacity to think and reason.. du these things come into account?ever ? nywhere? doez it make me foolish to even try to make an effort remembring all this....and at the end of all of it...both o us r jus gna chk it! and carry on blindly..unknowinly..unaffected..n leave it untouched...