Explicit Withdrawal

Right now, this very moment, my life is nothing but a quintessence for the word compromise. I am desperately stuck on the middle ground in every possible facet of life. Be it career or relationships, the boat is sinking from both ends. Between dipping a year of college and the ever-deteriorating relationships I’m no less worthless than a puppet that too, with no strings attached.

Life is at a needle tip. Whichever way I go, I’m sure to fall…on more needles. That’s why it’s no surprise that being a hardcore rock lover I can still relate to

‘Needled 24-7, by Children of Bodom.’

I finally get the true essence of the song.

This way I can quote many examples to validate my meaningless existence. But my point here is why in the first place am I not making any observable or even an imperceptible endeavor to change the state of affairs. The answer, not being so tricky is that this is just the way I am. I’ve come to a no negotiation point with my disposition and feelings.

This incurable attitude of giving into situations, people and circumstances comes to me naturally now. The worst part being that I don’t even regret it anymore. I just live with it.

I’m not sure if I can call myself a coward just yet (I might if the status continues to be unaltered). But undoubtedly I’m careless to the core. Lackadaisical, in every sense of the word. I don’t care if I’m getting into a rut, and I don’t care if I’m not. I just go with the flow not appreciating opportunities and brooding my fate.

Can someone ever have such a complete and absolute lack of interest in ones own life! I mean, I know people who have an incessant concern with other people’s lives. And here I am just not bothered as ever.

After reading this conscience-stricken viewpoint, you might assume that I’m depressed, miserable, dejected and unhappy. But the bizarre truth is that I’m actually not feeling any of these despondent emotions at the moment. I’m in fact quite on terms with this way of life. I’m not sorry or disappointed. Cause as said earlier I’ve mastered the art of compromise.